Werewolves Aren't Friendly
by Seren Blaidd
Summary: (SB/RL) Sirius thinks Moony will love Padfoot as much as he loves Remus but the Werewolf is not a big fan of annoying wizards disguised as dogs.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Click on that picture and look at those puppies! I didn't draw this, although I wish I had. I found it on DeviantArt. It's called 'Puppylove' and was drawn by Ysabelle and it inspired this story. Thank you for letting me use it Ysabelle :)  
**

**So, if you read this please _please_ check it out (/art/Puppylove-14492586 or click the link on my profile) and leave her a comment (they're as nice as reviews ;), and because this is utterly cute and there's another one called Return of the Puppies.**

**(BTW I am not J K Rowling)**

Ch.1

The wolf sniffed the black dog's face, lips wrinkling uncertainly.

The black dog wagged its tail, shamelessly determined to convey its intentions.

The grey wolf growled.

The dog licked it.

A pink tongue, like a warm flannel, on the wolf's suspicious face.

Its eyes widen in surprise.

The black tail wags more enthusiastically; as the dog bows down on its front paws, coaxing the wolf to play.

After what feels like a lifetime, confined all alone, the wolf's tail starts to wag.

It sniffs cautiously, then it too goes in for a quick lick.

And then a bit of rough-and-tumble and lots more licking.

As the morning creeps closer the two are curled together, a circle of black and grey fur, warm and sleepy, licking each other's faces...

.

"What ya' drawing, Pads?" James hissed, reaching across to snatch the parchment.

"_Nothing_!" Sirius yelped, yanking it back and scribbling over the picture with as much ink as was left on his quill. James snorted with laughter as the teacher stalked over to them, snatching Sirius' parchment and peering at the scribbled image.

.

"No phalluses or topless ladies, what a pleasant surprise, Black. Puppies, is it? How very sweet. Can you perhaps focus your mind on the blackboard, for me?"

"Yes, sir." Sirius groaned, trying to hide his scarlet cheeks.

.

Sirius spent too many lesson's daydreaming about tonight. It was the night of the full moon, when his friend Remus would turn into a Werewolf. This happened to Remus every month, but unknown to Remus, Sirius and their friends had mastered the, unbelievably complicated, animagus spell. Transformed into animals the Werewolf's bite would not infect them.

.

James was a deer. 'A stag' he liked to say, but it was a deer. Peter was a rat. 'It's incredibly useful' he liked to say, but he was still a rat! Sirius was a massive black bear of a dog; he was very excited. Remus was not excited, because Remus didn't know. If he did, he would be going crazy. But he had no idea.

.

They sneaked into the Shrieking Shack under James's invisibility cloak and hid in the bedroom. Madame Pomfrey brought Remus in at dusk and told him to get naked behind the screen so she could take his clothes away with her, and then with a brisk 'good night' and left.

.

Remus crept across the room, shaking out the rather filthy blanket from the bed and wrapping it around himself, shivering slightly. He jumped like he'd seen a ghost as his friends appeared. "_What are you doing here!?_" He wailed, one hand clutching the blanket around him as he stood to thump Sirius in the chest. "_You have to go, at once!_"

.

James and Sirius made him sit down, explained the animagus deal, and demonstrated their animagus forms. Peter decided, at this point, to stay in his animal form. James, irritatingly, decided to stay human and sit on the bed with Sirius and Remus, talking about animagi. This was a bit of a shame, because Sirius had never been alone on a bed with a naked Remus before. He thought James would have been much more useful exploring the rest of the Shrieking Shack, with Peter.

.

"_The moon is rising_!" Remus said, clutching Sirius frantically. "_Please go! You don't know this will work! What if you can't maintain your animal form for long enough!? What if it doesn't work! Sirius, please!_"

"It will be fine." Sirius promised, holding the blanket around him, so that Remus had two hands free to grab at his clothes and shake him. James finally buggered off, to see what had become of Peter, and Sirius gave Remus a very firm hug, which stopped all the shouting very abruptly.

.

"Sirius, what if you aren't alright?" Remus groaned, pressing tightly against him. "The wolf might kill you… Sirius."

"That's why we're hugging." Sirius murmured, smelling Remus's hair, with was all ruffled because he'd been tugging it while he'd been yelling. It smelt like apple shampoo.

"In case I kill you?" Remus whimpered, burying his face in Sirius's chest.

"It will be fine." Sirius said again. "Anyway, you must know how much I love you, seeing as I've spent the last two years working on this."

"And James and Peter." Remus whispered. Sirius wrinkled his nose and squashed it back into Remus' hair.

"It was my idea." He muttered. "I like you best. _I really like you best, Remus_."

"I like you best too, Sirius." Remus whispered back.

.

And then he screamed, hands clamping into talons as he thrust himself away from Sirius and changed, very horribly and violently, into the Werewolf.

.

The stag clattered clumsily up the stairs, catching it's antlers on everything. The rat scurried out from under the bed, hunched against the floor, watching. The werewolf weighed them all up, decided the massive dog was clearly the greatest threat, and attacked.


	2. Chapter 2

Ch.2

As the moon set beneath the horizon, the Werewolf ripped itself to pieces, leaving only Remus, bruised and shivering, on the bloody floorboards. "…Sirius?" He whimpered, crumpling with a bump as he tried to lift himself on his arms. "…_Sirius_?" He whispered, peering around the bloody room, head still heavy against the floorboards.

.

The black dog crawled from beneath the bed, fur smeared in blood, one ear torn to ribbons. It limped over to Remus and licked his fingers, and then his face, as heavy tears rolled from beneath his closed eyelids.

.

"We have to get out of here." Peter said, approaching nervously, wand out. "If Pomfrey finds us she'll think you attacked us and The Ministry will have you killed, Remus."

"_I did attack you!_" Remus sobbed, lifting a weak arm around the bloody dog, which fell over, with a whimper against him, before continuing to lick his face.

"You didn't attack me." Peter told him, retrieving the blanket at laying it over him. "I could get away. I knew being a rat would be best."

"James?" Remus whispered, staring at Peter with black-shadowed eyes.

"You bit his legs quite a lot, but I've fixed it with my wand. He's waiting to go, watching the tunnel for Pomfrey."

"She won't come yet." Remus sobbed, smearing red over his fingers as he stroked the dogs wet fur.

.

"You tried to kill Sirius." Peter told him. The black dog was also beneath the blanket, like Remus it made no effort to lift its head off the floor, licking the tears off Remus's face as they spilt uncontrollably down his cheeks. "And then you tried to kill James and Sirius got between you until he was unconscious. I thought he was dead but clearly he wasn't. I don't think we should do this again."

"No." Remus sobbed, clutching the dog's fur and trying to kiss it's face as it licked at him.

"…You do know that's Sirius, right?" Peter added, watching Remus sobbing and the black dog licking for a moment longer before shaking himself. "Righty. I'll go get James tell him we need a hand up here." He said, brightly, and hurried out of the room.

.

.

"You were bloody brave." James offered, as they sat at the back of History of Magic class later that morning. Sirius ignored him, head on his arms, arms on the desk. "…And it is ace to be an animgus."

"I don't want to be an animagus." Sirius sighed, sulkily. James huffed at him.

"Yeah, you do." He said. "We just need to work on our plan."

.

"The wolf is horrible." Sirius complained. "It even tries to attack _itself,_ when there's nothing there to attack."

"That's hardly breaking news." James pointed out. "I really don't know why you thought it was going to be friendly. It's not Remus-with-a-hint-of-bloodlust, is it now?" Sirius wrinkled his lip in a scowl and slumped further onto his hands.

.

"…I can see why it wants to attack _you_." He said, finally. "You're a deer. You're food. But I'm canine. We should be friends."

"It attacks _itself_, Sirius!" James hissed, in exasperation. "On the plus side, it did slightly work. Remus _was_ much less injured than usual. On the downside, of course, that's because most of those injuries landed on us… Alright, _you_. But that was only because you kept trying to protect me. It definitely wanted to eat me, most."

"You said you could use your antlers to throw it."

"The ceiling and the walls got in the way; which brings me to my cunning plan. What if we let it out? Then run away, very fast? It'll chase us. We can guide it into the forbidden forest."

"What if it doesn't chase us?" Peter interrupted. "What if it just runs straight to Hogsmeade and starts attacking people?"

"We'll stop it." James said, confidently. "Sirius will. He's as hard as the wolf, he was just trying not to hurt Remus."

"But you'll stop him, if he goes towards people?" Peter asked. "No matter what?"

"No matter what." Sirius nodded. "And James's deer will, maybe, use it's antlers a bit more, out in the open."

"Sirius, your animagus is a bitch." James pointed out.

"Hysterical." Sirius growled, ignoring Peter's giggles. "I don't change gender, James."

"_And neither do I_." James said, pointedly. "So _stop calling me a deer_, Bitch. I'm a stag."

"And Peter is a_ rat_." Sirius smirked.

"Very glad I am, too." Peter assured him. "As I thought, while I watched you two being the Werewolf's chew toys."


	3. Chapter 3

Ch.3

Remus was not in on the plan, because he would have tried to stop it. Despite this he didn't undress fully behind the screen, keeping his long johns on, and pacing the room nervously, searching for them.

.

"Hey." Sirius gave up, dropping the invisibility cloak. Remus glared at him.

"Why are you here?!" He growled. "Sirius, you could die! Are you all…?"

"Yeah." James grinned, stepping up as well, with Peter behind him. "We're helping, Remus. Too late to worry about it now."

"Do you remember what happened last time!?" Remus yelled, snatching Sirius and shaking him, as if he didn't know whether to hug him or beat him.

"We have a plan." Sirius said, soothingly. "And weren't you hurt less, last time? Even if it goes horribly wrong, I am happy to be bitten a couple of times, if it means you aren't. You have endured this every month since you were a child."

"I won't let you be that monsters chew toy!" Remus snarled. "Get out! All of you! I'll tell a teach…!" With a howl of pain he crumpled onto the floor. James sprinted down the stairs. Sirius ran after him, frantically trying to get the heavily barricaded door open.

.

"He's coming!" Peter screamed, before vanishing into the rat.

"Don't stop!" Sirius yelled, slashing with his wand again.

"I'm not!" James shouted, listening to the wolf tumbling down the stairs, tangled in the last of Remus's clothes.

"Don't stop!" Sirius yelled again, dropping his wand as he vanished into his canine form, launching himself at the wolf and buying James a matter of seconds to force the door wide.

.

A moment later the stag had formed and was charging through the overgrown garden. The wolf rolled free of Sirius and launched itself for freedom. Winded, the black dog scrambled back to its feet and gave chase.

.

"…And then began the most excellent night of my life!" Sirius said, shoving Remus up and climbing onto the Sanatorium bed, next to him.

"You were _insane_." James said.

"Sirius or the Werewolf?" Peter asked, with a grin.

"Ah, true!" James laughed. "You were _both_ insane."

"And I didn't eat you, Wormtail." Remus said, giving Peter a one-armed hug, because Sirius was too slumped against him to manage more.

"I stayed in the Shack." Peter assured him. "I'm the sane one."

.

"The wolf really wanted to chase James." Sirius told him. "James was fine on the grass, but in the forest, he kept getting his antlers tangled in branches. You nearly ate him, loads of times." James lifted bitten wrists, pointedly.

"Oh God, I'm _so sorry_!" Remus stammered, clutching his hair in shock. Sirius laughed until Remus shoved him angrily off the bed, examining James's damaged wrists in horror. "God, James!_ This is awful_!" Remus assured him. "And your ankles?"

"You bit my bleeding arse!" James laughed. "But Peter has fixed it."

"_You bit me too_." Sirius told him, climbing back onto the bed.

"Sirius got his wish." James told him. "The wolf tolerates him now."  
"It does?" Remus asked doubtfully. "Because you're a dog?"

"No. Because he was _helping it hunt me_." James said, narrowing his eyes, crossly.

"We were _bonding."_ Sirius told him. "We are much friendlier now. You only tried to kill me half a dozen times."

"I'm _so sorry_." Remus groaned, miserably. "Please don't do this again. _Please._"

Remus looked at the three smirking faces and sighted ruefully. "Oh, and you _bit me ear!_" Sirius ventured, finally. "Which hurt... _a lot!"_

"You idiot, Pads!" James snorted. "He bit a chunk out of my _arse!_"

"Rump." Sirius corrected. "Rump steak."

"Gross!" Peter groaned. Sirius ignored them, tucking his hair behind his ear so Remus could see.

"How mean is that?" He asked, self-pityingly.

"I'm so sorry." Remus assured him, miserably enough to make Sirius grin.

"Bit my _arse!_" James repeated.

"No one wants to see your arse, James." Sirius assured him. "And you nipped my neck quite a lot as well, Moony." He added, lifting his hair again to show.

"But I didn't try and kill you." Remus affirmed, holding Sirius's hair aside to touch the red marks, miserably. "Have you tried to heal this?"

"_Has he hell!"_ James laughed. "He's been waiting to show you, Moony!"

"I have not!" Sirius scowled, flushing as he flopped his glossy black hair back down. "It just doesn't need healing. It hasn't broken the skin. It hurt more getting thrown _by a deer_."

"This is the last time I'm going to remind you." James snapped. "Either we are the Stag and the Dog, or you, Sirius Black, are forever going to be referred to as 'the bitch'."

"Fine." Sirius growled. "It hurt, getting thrown by a 'stag'. Now check my poor neck out again, Moony. Look what you did to me!"

"Sirius, I don't know what to say." Remus assured him, miserably. "I don't want you to go near me on the full moon. I'm so sorry I did this."

.

"...They do both know the Werewolf could have bitten straight through his neck in two bites, don't they?" Peter clarified.

"Yes." James sighed. "And, not being funny but_ 'my arse',_ Wormtail. And we're not talking some cute 'I nibbled your neck' red marks. That was inch long puncture wounds and blood; lots of blood."

"I know, James. I fixed it." Peter reminded him. "It was really bad."

"_Thank you."_ James assured him. "Yes, it was, and I was a man about it as well... Pack it in, Padfoot, he's not going to kiss it better, no matter how much of a fuss you make!"

"Piss off, Prongs!" Sirius scowled, dropping off the bed. "I was just showing."

"He felt bad enough, already." Peter told him. "He didn't ask us to let him out. He didn't mean to bite you or James. And he bit James badly."

"I am sorry, James." Remus said again, dismally. "Please don't let me out again."  
"It was ace." Sirius assured him. "And you didn't really hurt us. You were playing, mostly."

"And it was worth it." James said, firmly. "I don't intend to let you get your teeth that close to me again, but this is working, Remus. You didn't attack yourself at all, and you never know, one day, the Werewolf might get used to us and start thinking of us as his pack."

"I hope not." Remus said. "I mean... I don't want it to hurt you." He explained. "But... You know..."

"Not really." James said, amused at his friends obvious embarrassment.

"_I know."_ Sirius said, siting back on the bed, next to him.

"No you don't!" Peter scoffed. "You're shameless, Padfoot!"

"I don't want the werewolf to hurt you." Remus said, earnestly. "But... It's a monster. I just meant, you're not it's pack... You're mine."


End file.
